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	<title>Comments on: NYT on Campus Culture</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.betsysblog.com/wordpress/2008/04/02/nyt-on-campus-culture/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.betsysblog.com/wordpress/2008/04/02/nyt-on-campus-culture/</link>
	<description>Letâ€™s look at things a little differently....</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:17:36 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>By: lenona</title>
		<link>http://www.betsysblog.com/wordpress/2008/04/02/nyt-on-campus-culture/#comment-1267</link>
		<dc:creator>lenona</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:44:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.betsysblog.com/wordpress/2008/04/02/nyt-on-campus-culture/#comment-1267</guid>
		<description>Haven't read it just yet.

While I understand that young abstinent people desperately need to hear that they're not alone, I do believe that they would get laughed at much less if only they would talk about it much less and focus strictly instead on what they're doing with their spare time. As Miss Manners once said, the biggest social danger for many people is "Standing Around Looking Stupid," which can be prevented by keeping busy. Also, as my father once said on an unrelated matter: "You can never brag about what you aren't doing, only what you ARE doing." (Though I'm guessing he would make sympathetic exceptions for those who, say, study classical music and resist the temptation to spend all their peer social time discussing Top 40 radio, even though that might mean being shunned by most peers. Or worse, those who have no friends at all because they won't shoplift and everyone else does.)

Anyway, I wanted to add that I personally believe that even secular parents can make kids postpone sex until marriage - or at least convince them to wait until they've left home, long-term. One way I've heard of is for parents to say: "In this family, we don't ask for rights without responsibilities. So if you're planning on having sex, you'll start paying rent and utilities. That, after all, will be good practise for when you're living on your own and trying to support your spouse and child. Also, we will not babysit."</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Haven&#8217;t read it just yet.</p>
<p>While I understand that young abstinent people desperately need to hear that they&#8217;re not alone, I do believe that they would get laughed at much less if only they would talk about it much less and focus strictly instead on what they&#8217;re doing with their spare time. As Miss Manners once said, the biggest social danger for many people is &#8220;Standing Around Looking Stupid,&#8221; which can be prevented by keeping busy. Also, as my father once said on an unrelated matter: &#8220;You can never brag about what you aren&#8217;t doing, only what you ARE doing.&#8221; (Though I&#8217;m guessing he would make sympathetic exceptions for those who, say, study classical music and resist the temptation to spend all their peer social time discussing Top 40 radio, even though that might mean being shunned by most peers. Or worse, those who have no friends at all because they won&#8217;t shoplift and everyone else does.)</p>
<p>Anyway, I wanted to add that I personally believe that even secular parents can make kids postpone sex until marriage - or at least convince them to wait until they&#8217;ve left home, long-term. One way I&#8217;ve heard of is for parents to say: &#8220;In this family, we don&#8217;t ask for rights without responsibilities. So if you&#8217;re planning on having sex, you&#8217;ll start paying rent and utilities. That, after all, will be good practise for when you&#8217;re living on your own and trying to support your spouse and child. Also, we will not babysit.&#8221;</p>
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