I totally agree, Betsy. I’ve been on both sides of the blended family scenario - as a daughter and as a step-mother. And of all the important things one should consider before merging households, the age of the children really isn’t the point. After all, if someone you’re marrying is really great, why wouldn’t you want your children exposed to them? Or conversely, if you think someone is “not good” for your minor aged children, why would you ever want to marry them, even after your children are grown?

Secondly, if SG’s boyfriend is allowing his kids to manipulate him now, this WILL NOT stop just because the kids get older. Often parents who are divorced or in low quality marriages will allow a child to become a “surrogate spouse” by giving them too much decision making power and being a pal instead of a parent. If SG’s boyfriend isn’t ready to reverse course now, SG shouldn’t wait for 5 or 7 years hoping he will finally get this straight. He’ll like just try to keep having it both ways.

Secondly, if he is allowing a kid to make important decisions for his life, this want change just because the kids get older and move out.
Secondly, SG’s thinks her boyfriend;s kids are conspiring against her….and they probably are if he is allowing it. But she should know this will not end as soon as the kids turn 18 or move out.

I totally agree with David Briggs insight on parents’ spending way too much on kids. It has been hard raising our kids on traditional values of “wait & save” for something they want when everyone around them get the latest gizmos at a moment’s notice. We are left wondering where the money is coming from or if parents have no limit anymore on what kids can have at a certain age…12 yr. old girls (some even younger) wearing Coach or Dooney purses, tweens using the latest in cell phones, etc.
How do we teach the next generation how to handle money responsibly if our generation is guilty of perpetuating the “I want it NOW” or instant gratification syndrome?