I read your column and was nodding and commenting all through it! I teach at a local college and in 15 years the mood has changed. You hit it right on the nail head! I have had students argue about a grade because ‘I came to every class’ or ‘I handed in everything’ it doesn’t make any difference that the material wasn’t 4th grade level. Recently a student who is graduating informed me that learning about how to get a job wasn’t that important because if he cannot find one for $82K then he’ll stay home with his parents. Bring them back to reality, life is hard work!

I read your article all the way to the end…do I get a trophy? Seriously, I couldn’t agree with you more. I just completed my Associate’s Degree at 36, and turned that into a full-time job. Was it hard work? Yes, sometimes. Am I being rewarded for my efforts? Yes. Did someone come along and just hand me a free pass? Nope – and I wouldn’t expect them to. People I went to class with started hounding me, “Hey, can you get me a job there, too?” No! You want it, you go out and get it, just like I did. That’s how life works.

“TANSTAAFL – There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch” – Robert Heinlein

Jason, you rock – thanks for writing!

Betsy

Jane, that is an amazing tale. Let’s hope the recession helps us out here!

Blessings – Betsy

I have committed the above with my six children. And I have paid dearly for it.
What I thought was showing love was actually a lack of parenting skills. I have a MS in Education and the “self-esteem” mantra was the theme running through all classes. Thank you for your insight.

Many thanks for writing what many have thought for some time.

In this era of Oprah, Depak and “soccer moms” we have substituted feeling good and self esteem with performance. It seems that many feel that just “trying hard” is the same as success.

The main basis for self esteem (not to get too religious) is based on the idea that we are created in God’s image, and thus our worth comes from this. Past that, worth comes from relationships, achievement and success. Self-esteem, without any basis (beside being created in God’s image) is an empty concept; it will eventually lead to failure and very low self esteem.

Thanks for these great comments – I’ve gotten a lot of response on this column in particular! I guess I struck a cord, which I’m always happy to do!

Betsy

I’m sure there are plenty of young people who really need to read that column.

However, I found myself nodding just as much at the words of the commenter isnadmin (you have to click on “Comments” at the top to see it, maybe – the follwing is about 1/3 of the post):

“……College education doesn’t prepare anyone for the work force. College education doesn’t equal experience either. What exactly does the college experience do for someone but suspend their income or increase their debt obligations?

I would rather have had someone at the college level honestly tell me, “You’re paying for nothing,” than continue being encouraged to pursue my degree in Liberal Studies. If I could go back, I would have gone to the library and read what I needed to read to learn what I wanted to learn. In short, the college system ENABLES this sense of entitlement. Read the ads for yourself…

Get a better job, start a new career, earn more money… it’s BS! The only thing you’re expected to do is come to class, do the work, and learn the material. THAT’S IT. No more, no less. What would you have a student do to consider them ‘entitled’ to the dream these schools market, anyway?

Please, let’s not pass it all off on the students. Yes, there are some lazy people out there that will just gripe to be heard. Many of them have come to realize they’ve been suckered into a system that controls their futures. Consider the most successful businessmen and women that quit college without ever getting a degree. Consider why… they learned how to do something on their own with little, if any, assistance from their educators. Bill Gates didn’t have anyone but himself and his college roommate to thank for his success……”