Good points. However:

“And, by the way, we parents usually give more, do more for and love our kids more than what we will receive back from them. But what rightly oriented parent resents that?”

A parent who puts his/her marriage first and who, in the same vein, demands that children put their parents at the center of the universe will resent kids who disobey that rule. (I.e., parents who are smart enough to let kids know that it’s their job to pay attention to them and their wishes, not the other way around.) Also, a person whose spouse puts the children ahead of the marriage – as is implied above – will quite rightly resent that. As John Rosemond has said, the marriage vows don’t say “I will have you to love, honor and hold until children do us part.”

Finally:

“There is typically joy in such (often-exhausting) giving. So, let’s pause for a moment and consider how just having that orientation toward our spouses might change our marriages.”

Exactly. As Rosemond said: “Want your children to be truly happy and independent? Put your marriage first. Or, if single, put your adult life first.”