Betsy's Blog

Column – When Fewer Wedding Bells are Ringing. . .

Betsy — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:36:32 +0000

Today most young people will live with one or more romantic partners before marrying – if they do marry at all. This is the “new normal” – and it’s not a healthy one for our culture.

When Fewer Wedding Bells Are Ringing. . .

BTW, in this week’s column I refer generally to studies which show that married people who did not cohabit first are statistically more likely to be happy than those married couples who did cohabit first. There was just no room to site all the studies which demonstrate this finding, so I’ll include here a sampling over several decades.

One finding studies demonstrate is that couples moving from living together into marriage often go from a sense of “freedom/no commitment” to “commitment/no freedom” and this can lead to a feeling of being “trapped.” Whereas couples who go from not living together to being married are more likely to view marriage itself as “freeing.” Interesting.

This, of course, can have an impact even years later on how positively or negatively married couples view their marriages.

9. R.E.L. Watson, “Premarital Cohabitation vs. Traditional Courtship: The Effects of Subsequent Marital Adjustment,” Family Relations 32(1981), 139-147.

10. Alfred DeMaris and K. Vaninadha Rao, “Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability in the United States: A Reassessment,” Journal of Marriage and Family 54(1992), 178-190.

11. Stephen Nock, “A Comparison of Marriages and Cohabiting Relationships,” Journal of Family Issues 16(1995), 53-76.

12. Catherine L. Cohan and Stacey Kleinbaum, “Toward A Greater Understanding of the Cohabitation Effect: Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Communication,” Journal of Marriage and Family 64(2002), 180-192.

13. Lee Robins and Darrel Reiger, Psychiatric Disorders in America (New York: Free Press, 1990), 72.

14. Andrew Greeley, Faithful Attraction (New York: Tom Doherty, 1991), 206.

15. Jan E. Stets, “Cohabiting and Marital Aggression: The Role of Social Isolation,” Journal of Marriage and Family 53(1991): 669-680.

16. Todd K. Shackelford, “Cohabitation, Marriage and Murder,” Aggressive Behavior 27(2001), 284-191.

Thanks for stopping by!

Betsy Hart

Column – Take This Job and Love It!

Betsy — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:58:10 +0000

Hi friends – here’s this week’s column. A little “whistle while you work” anyone?

Take this Job and Love it

Thanks for stopping by! – Betsy Hart

Column – Casey’s Affair. . .

Betsy — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:08:43 +0000

Hi friends – here’s this week’s column. My discussion with someone else’s “the other woman” is getting a lot of attention. In fact it made the cover of the Sun-Times this week.

Yes, Casey is very real. See what you think!

Casey’s Affair: A Conversation with “The Other Woman”

Column – Aging is Overrated (Okay, that’s a Joke.) But Fighting It May Be Too!

Betsy — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:26:24 +0000

Hi friends – this week’s column is about something that strikes close to home with me. Aging!

Aging is Not for Sissies!

Column – Is Valentine’s Day Much Ado About Nothing Much?

Betsy — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:14:25 +0000

Hi friends. Call me the “Grinch who stole February 14th.” But I admit that Valentine’s Day just seems so. . . shallow to me!

I hope you enjoy this column.

Is Valentine’s Day Much Ado about Nothing Much?

Okay, but I’ll say it anyway for those of you who disagree with me: Happy Valentine’s Day!

Column – This is Not Your Mother’s ‘Dirty Dancing’!

Betsy — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:46:46 +0000

Hi friends – here’s this week’s column.

A little foreplay on the dance floor – for teens – anyone? Many high schools (including mine) continue to deal with this issue. See what you think!

Protecting Kids from Themselves – Isn’t That What Adults are For?

(Here is the shorter version of the same column which appeared in today’s Chicago Sun-Times)

Protecting Kids from Themselves – Isn’t That What Adults are For?

Thanks for stopping by!

FOX – Betsy on FOX today

Betsy — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 01:26:03 +0000

Hi friends – I was on FOX today talking about the rise of “dirty dancing” in high schools around the country. I’ve written before about this issue in my own community.

My big takeaway? How did “romance” devolve into this? Here’s a clip. Enjoy!

Protecting Kids from Themselves – Isn’t That What Adults are For?

Column – The Religion of Global Warming Alarmism

Betsy — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:21:34 +0000

This column came about as a result of me looking for the current science grade of one of my children. What I found was some very interesting material on the teacher’s official school website.

(Sheesh, you’d think the schools would be on to me by now, wouldn’t you?)

Enjoy.

The Religion of Global Warming Alarmism

Column – It’s Personal, But It’s Often Not Complicated

Betsy — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:41:29 +0000

Hi friends, this column is a little personal. I share some of my experience in post-divorce life with young kids. A recent conversation with a dear friend also experiencing the politically correct culture – and seeing the terrific movie “It’s Complicated” – inspired this one.

It’s Personal – But It’s Often Not Complicated

Thanks for stopping by!

Betsy Hart

Column – The Pursuit of Happiness is Not Good Enough

Betsy — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:17:01 +0000

Hi friends – here is this week’s column. I have often had, or tried to have, this conversation about happiness with my kids. I don’t know if they are “getting” it, but I hope something is sinking in!

Can the Pursuit of Happiness Cost us Real Joy?